We always just laughed and said "Oh we're not in any rush; whenever the time is right."
Lately though? I've been saying things more like "Well we're going to Jamaica in February and I don't want to be pregnant for that."Meaning that after Jamaica? Who knows.
When we booked the trip- it seemed so far in the distance. The trip seemed like years away. Oh but guess what- in almost a week, we will be lying on this beach, sipping Red Stripes and being far far away from the freezing, snowy weather in Ohio.
So now that "After Jamaica" is less than a month away; now that this totally arbitrary timeline of mine is almost up, I can't help but think am I really ready for this? Will I ever really be ready for having kids?
The answer is probably not. But this has been on ongoing discussion in our house and we feel as ready as I think we ever will. Taking the step from someday in the future to we're actually going to do this thing makes me nervous. What if there are complications? What if we can't get pregnant? And as I was sitting here typing this, I realized I haven't found a new doctor after my insurance changed, and holy shit...
So I guess for now, I will just look forward to lying on that beach. And know that things will happen when they happen, and I'll just have to be at peace with that.
Though I really should get a doctor.